Broadway is Expensive. Times Square is a pain to walk through. Intermission isn't enough time to scarf down that $12 Watered-Down-Mojito which you can't bring to your seat. And that jerk in front of you is going to give a standing ovation to a reading of the telephone book. Why bother? We give you each of your (not so)
favorite Broadway shows, ten minutes at a time.

Last Five Years

By Gil on Wednesday, Aug 22, 2007

I'm seeing Rent tonight. I hope to abridge it in the next few weeks.

But in the meanwhile, I was asked to do Last Five Years. Here it is, in short form:

               SHERIE RENE SCOTT
Hey, I'm in the present.

              NORBERT LEO BUTZ
Whoa, I'm in the past!

              SHERIE RENE SCOTT
Wait a minute, I'm moving backwards.

              NORBERT LEO BUTZ
I'm moving forwards.

              SHERIE RENE SCOTT
Oh look it's our wedding, let's meet up and--

              NORBERT LEO BUTZ
Too late.  We missed each other.

              SHERIE RENE SCOTT
Dammit.  Now I'm in the past and you're in the present.

              NORBERT LEO BUTZ
Now I'm fucking the air and pretending it's another woman.

              SHERIE RENE SCOTT
Worst husband ever.... OR AM I A CRAPPY WIFE?!?!?

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